The past few days has been such a drag, constantly raining and cold as heck. I'm contemplating to actually buying a coat 'cause geeh so damn cold. I'm almost completely better from this cough/cold almost lasted 6 weeks. I started going to church at first not by choice but now I like it more. I've cried a few times there just thinking so much while sitting there and hearing the pastor preaching to us.
I've been stuck in a prison I built for myself for so long now. It feels good coming out of it though it gets hard to actually come out of it most of the time. Because I realize so many things are wrong around me. It's sad that I put  people on a pedestal and when I'm let down I get all doubting myself worth. And I do this thing to myself a lot, I'm learning everyone is human and not to ever expect people to do what they say just don't expect anything so this disappointing feeling won't take over me.
Let see what else is going on with me, my grandma 1st year since she passed away was on the 16th. I wasn't crying so much this time, I guess 'cause I realize she is not suffering anymore. I know deep inside that she knew how much I loved and will continue loving her, and beyond this life. That is all for now I have things to do.

"Did I make a sacrifice? Am I where I wanted to be?"

As usual I tend to kill off some time when I'm almost getting sleepy by getting on youtube and watching whatever video comes to mind. I was watching some Gwen Stefani videos of her last tour when as usual some dude bothers me on yahoo messenger. I usually go with the flow and answer whatever dumbass question he has for me. I tend to be one of the nicest people on the internet to almost everyone. But I swear this dude just pushes my buttons, I had enough that night when he just starts asking my boyfriend. Is like come on dude you had your chance to talk to my boyfriend online but you were too chicken to even answer him.
I had my boyfriend talk to this dude one time when he just wouldn't quit telling me his feelings for me. What really pissed me off last night is he went on and on that he wishes my boyfriend would love me as much as he does. That's when I had enough and went off on his ass. Is like please save this bullshit for someone who gives a fuck. I told him to act like a normal person and then he started cussing at me. I personally don't see where I went wrong by expressing my discontent of his advances.
The moral of this story is always speak your mind, but don't wait like I did. Anywho my cold is not getting better. I've tried my hardest not to use my voice much lately. It sounds really bad and no matter how much liquids I drink my voice doesn't seem fresh. Another chapter is finished for me, I had a weird dream that I was talking to a psychologist or psychiatrist about it. I need some zzzzzz kinda got a long day tomorrow.